Helen Brougham | Empowering Women In Every Day Life | Stepping Through Life's Challenges | Personal and Family Leadership Training For Mums | Benefits of Therapeutic Massage | Chelsea Massage Clinic | Helen Brougham

A Roller Coaster Ride and How to Be Resourceful in Life

Helen — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:41:45 +0000

A roller coaster ride going up and down, in and out, dart in here and being thrown over there constant changing direction without warning

Being resourceful can be the edge of where you are right now

When ever this happening to you or around you, know in yourself you will get through what is happening, you done it before and will do it again

Most people don't know what is wrong, why they are feeling the way, they do???

You think you are on a roller coaster ride of life!

Grief, upset and sadness can come from

Being yelled at
Falling over suddenly
Being rejected
Car accident (big and small)
Unexpected news
Sickness or death in the family
Job loss
Income
Separation
Child's behaviour problems

Think back to when you were happy, then something happened, this is where it can start from

You are the only one that can bring yourself through this challenger that life throws at you and no matter what it is, know on the other side can will be the opposite of right now. We are all learning at different level and this is very normal.

Endurance is to stay in yourself, let yourself feel what is going on, knowing that you will keep going. If you move outside of yourself there is more chaos going on all around you and you will be feeling everything that everybody is feeling.

Often people will say "hang in there" they are really say "you will get through this time and be a better person for it" they are meaning well but does not often help you and can have you feeling more stressed. So just let it go.

Is what your feeling can be grief as there are many grief but they all have the same feeling going on

Your head and mind will feel heavy, confused and sadness
You will have no energy and would rather stay in bed this is very common
You feel a weakness in your body
Don't feel like eating
You feel cold even if it is sunny

Things to be aware of when you feel this way is

Your mind will be living more in the past, when this happens your mind is not present so you will not remember where you put things. You will be forgetful, forget passwords, do things back to front, you will get upset quickly, even cry at the smallest things, frustrated with yourself and others.

House keys and you locked yourself out of your house or the car

Have a spare set of keys with your nieghbour and family member that lives close by
Extra keys in your purse
In a place that is safe outside the home
make sure you turn off stove and heaters before going to be bed
Stay away from Alcohol, other substances, driving fast and negative people
Do gym and doing lots of exercise will cause more problems (other Often don't want to do exercise at all)

Using your tools and being resourceful

Having regular massage this does relax the body, mind and the muscles
Mediation is calming and balancing to the mind.
Get some coaching and massage together, this what I do for clients
Yoga is a balance of the mind, relax organs and helps relax the muscles
Walking around the block can refresh the mind and body
Communication with the person

Get a notepad and pen, writing your thoughts down are way to getting those thoughts out of you head (PROS & CONS)

Having lunch and dinner with family
Going out for cups of tea or coffee with a friend
Watch happy movies and listen to relaxing music
Use aromatherapy oils in an electric burner as they are safe to use if you forget it is on.
Essential oils of Lavender rose and orange
Read empowering books to lift your thoughts

Make it easy on yourself and go to Chelsea Massage Clinic book appointment 83646088 and have a massage, it makes such a difference to all of you.

Helen Brougham is a Mum of 4, remedial & pregnancy massage therapist, empowering author and coach, owner of Chelsea Massage Clinic. She is passionate about empowering women to step through life's challenges with ease and grace. Helen's newest book, "Empowering You & Your Family" is a down to earth approach to Love, Peace and Joy for Mum's everywhere.

How To Help Parents With Children and Divorce

Helen — Tue, 15 May 2012 04:47:01 +0000

How to Help Parents With Children and Divorce

by Helen Brougham

When parents get together in a loving relationship it is for

better and worst
sickness and in health
married or not
there are unspoken RULES of being with another person and creating children.

Life is flowing, excitement of children come along and you become family full of fun

When adults stop loving each other and give up

Now life has changed and moving fast, many are confused and in chaos,this brings a feeling of being lonely and alone.This is also happening to our children as their life is speeding up and becoming out of control with all the new things happening. What happens parents, children and family lives change and chaos does damage relationships.

It is worth working to shift through this chaos, right now as I am helping clients shift through this and I am seeing wonderful changes that brighten up their whole face and their live is turn around for them.

You see it is a conversation that did not happen aloud to the person she needed to say it to, instead it happened in the mind of the unhappy person trying to telepathically hope the other person should know. In our own mind gets upset and creates in the negative direction.

But when the conversation goes on too long without clarity things come apart and life goes in the opposite direction

MUST DO RULES – if it has to be that way:

Sort your issue quietly away from children hearing
Sit down with your children over the next 3-6 months
Have a open conversation with your children
Tell your children that there will be changers
What they will be doing
How you are going to be family but different
Do what you say you are going to do
Explain this
Work out financial how that will look
Stay connected to your children, hug them, love them, let them talk to you (No yelling or anger)
Parent talk to each other for the good of the children

Children will take on life changes, it is all link to how their parents behaviour and how they conduct themselves to how to be in family. yes, divorce does bring out the ugly side, but it does not have to be like that. You have an opportunity to make this look totally different and still be family at a whole other level. Many have done it at this level and really have an abundance family and relationships.

Now, you got children now there are other rules that need to be obeyed

There is no better or worst time for divorce
Think of the children in everything you do, these are your family generation asset for the future of your family inheritance
This is a separation of two ADULT people ONLY
Not the separate of the children, family and grandparents
You promised an deep devotion, love and acceptance to each of your children, when being from egg and sperm to conceived and at birth when you first looked into your babies eyes and connected. What was you promise?

DON'T DO:

If you want to screw your children up, this is the best time to send them off the rails

STOP loving your children
Be angry and upset at your children.
Treatment them badly
Using bad language at children
Don't listen to them
Be vicious at other parent
Use your children to find out information to use against your partner
Break into bad behaviour and destroy what you have taught your children to be like
Use presents to out do the other parent
Children love those games to and will learn manipulating games too to get the most out of you

Outcome of Results from Above

Cause child to take their life because their life is falling apart
Angry children anger adult then they hurting others
Get into trouble with the law
Make trouble and leave school
Deep depression and self harm
Gambling and owe money to the wrong people

New family after divorce

First family children are important to be included in the new family
Partner to be balanced, get to know first family children, happy partner happy whole family
Plenty of love to go around to all family

Avoid

Stopping children from getting to know half siblings
Keep loving Discipline to have well balanced children

Parents bad behaviour is

Two adult acting like 3 years old in the sand pit!
Now adults playing for who they can hurt and destroy everything and everybody around them
Financial destroying the family income and requirement for children's support and security for future of all families

Parent using their children as a leverage to get what they want!

The most awfullest thing you can do to yourself
Do to your family
Do to your children
Do to the whole family, brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents.
Do to your friends
At the work place
Children's School and their friends
Everybody is effected

Who will be there to help your children if you are not

Their friends and they don't know how to help them
Their teachers — their not qualified
Doctors
Hospitals
Coach
Chemcials

It is real sad when you hear that parents have disregard for what is happening to their family because of their issues. It does matter to prevent this, this is grief a loss of family is so sad. There is no perfect time and is worth not letting life and other outside influence take control of your lives.

At the moment the world is experiencing great chaos and we have all feel something is going to shift and move for the worst. You will be fearful, if you are in chaos.

What ever your chaos is step back lift yourself focus into a new place, listen to music, go and sit in the sun and warm yourself, gentle walks, have massage to release stress, anxiety and pain.

Look and see where you can sit down, then look from all sides of your situation. Don't make big changes but seek help in a gentle ways and flowing along. Say the words "Everything with ease and grace" Shut your spending down if it is a financial issue, stay home and find peace in your home, spend time with your children these are our gifts to having amazing relationships.

Many of the changes happening if you are relaxed and you will flow along in new exciting relaxed ways, coming out the other side with a smile on your face.

See Helen's new book "Empowering You & Your Family" for more flow in your life.

Love to hear what you got go Facebook and leave a comment

Life Is Being Happy Relaxed – Suffering Injuries & Upset

Helen — Thu, 10 May 2012 03:25:15 +0000

Have you been watching the biggest loser on TV

with all the emotions

This year emotions were felt by all the contestants and they all had emotional stuff that stopped them from achieving what they wanted and the weight went on to cover up and fill up the disappointment.

One contestant as a child did not think her Dad love her because he left her, another felt rejected, another had a huge fear of dieing and she had responsible to look after her family and so she stayed careful and safe, another had I can't do it.

We all have our own blocks that stops us.

What else I noticed was that each one got to feel what was holding them back, the reason, what they could not do because of that block. Yes it is real and you may have notice how empowering, confidence and out there they were and they took on everything that their trainers asked of them without question.

Many people go to gym to clear the head and feel better and many are pushing their body beyond what the body can take and trying to run away from their pain, confusion and hopelessness life situations instead they are becoming injuried. Many don't get to do gym after that time because the body is damaged, we have many people that come to us at this time they are not coping because they don't know how to help themselves after that. What we do repair injuires release muscles in the shoulders back and neck it can also have pain in hips knee, ankles and feet

It is a very lonely, frustrating and painful path after injury and you need lots of money to get the right treatment that works for you to heal and it can take months before you started to become well enough.

In the gym is not the place to figure out what to do with issue or try not to detail emotional this brings a flood of tears, anger and sadness if your not concentrating can cause an injury with equipment around you.

WHY????

When I did my gym fitness courses there was no information on muscles injuires or signs and symptoms or who to send people to using massage or emotions coaching section in the training to deal with. Where as muscle injuires health, uses of massage and emotions like on TV biggest Loser program had lots of people behind the cameras

These are specialist areas for accredited remedial massage practitioners and that is why many sport and fitness trainers are injuried themselves and the only thing they were taught was stretching, this works fine till you are injuired.

This is why they don't know the signs and symptoms of injuries or biggest loser Hamish had was an emotional, they both make you feel really awful, they can be emotional and or injuriy and how to help themselves and their clients get the help they need. Trainers struggle with injuires and their emotion level and so do their clients when injuired and then they can't continue.

This is when we see many clients which is sad and injuried. It not the fitness trainer fault, often they are young people going into their first real job and have no experience with injuries or in what could be needed.

Where as TV show have many people on the side like the Doctor that jump into the video when Alex fell off his bike, screaming in pain doctor came in to help him and he got back on his bike and finished the bike, paddling and running section with broken ribs. Alex endured a lot to finish.

When I was sports trainer for my local Eyre United football and netball club, I had a few guys on the football field that got fractured ribs and jaws, they were in extreme pain and could not breath and were taken hospital immediately.

I am talking about muscle injuires could have been prevented if sport and fitness trainers with every client added massage and coaching like we do to, help their clients to clear the emotion block and release tight muscles so trainers can take them to the next exciting level in what they do to get fit and strong.

We all know what happens on TV, but we don't see all that goes on and the pain and suffered that is happening to the contestants backstage and what is cut out of the video and never shown

I am a Remedial Massage Practitioner for 8 years at the time before started a fitness trainers course when I want to know more about sport and gym and fitness to become education about what happens and understand what the client and fitness trainer are doing and which exercise does what and which exercise they can't do without it hurts.

Over the years I have added many levels of emotions coaching and help shift what is blocking people from achieving your highest potential in every area of your life and where they want to go.

Many have realised they cannot put up with the pain and fatigue any longer. After an hour massage are feeling very happy and relaxed.

When I had my first massage 20 years ago, my first thought was, "Is that all I have to do to feel good all the time" and the answer was 'Yes'

Life is about being happy and relaxed not suffering!

what are you suffering from and how can we help you?

Headaches Everything You Need To Know

Helen — Sat, 05 May 2012 15:30:06 +0000

Headaches come from many stressful situation and there is a pressure that builds up and up, it is like the body is telling you a secret that only you can hear and feel. Unfortunately, if you allow certain types of headaches to pass a certain point, it can result in a long journey of recovery. If you listen, hear and feel what is happening in your body and take action to relieve that pressure through what we do at Chelsea Massage, you can quickly get back on track to leading a balanced, happy, healthy and relaxed life once again.

It is up to you now!

Feel free to stop by our FaceBook Page and tell me what kind of headache pressure you have been experiencing and let's make a difference in your health and your life.

Helen Brougham is a Mum of 4, remedial & pregnancy massage therapist, empowering author and coach, owner of Chelsea Massage Clinic. She is passionate about empowering women to step through life's challenges with ease and grace. Helen's newest book, "Empowering You & Your Family" is a down to earth approach to Love, Peace and Joy for Mum's everywhere.

During Pregnancy Parents Have Concerns & Fears!!

Helen — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 06:31:22 +0000

During Pregnancy Parents Are Fearful

by Helen Brougham

Concerns about

• Will my baby be healthy?

• Will my baby be a good at sleeping?

• Will my baby be a happy baby?

• Will my baby be easy going baby?

These are serious questions and you will only know when your baby is born. One thing I know is how to increase the calmness of a Mum's mind, body and life!! After all, the calmer, happier and more contented the Mum, the greater the possibility of a happy, healthy, more content baby!

The quality of life with a husband or partner is VERY important. The quality of family relationships is also important as grandparents can have a lovely role in supporting both Mum and the new baby! As they say happy parents, happy children and happy life.

Regular massage is the way to keep the body relaxed, the muscles, strong and supported, the mind calm and focused in a happy place.

I have lots of newly pregnant mums come in to the clinic all the time. I also have a few clients who are further along in their pregnancies. All of my pregnant Mums come in with chronic tightness in the back, neck, shoulders, hips and legs. Their minds are in chaos. Their bodies are totally fatigued with work and the heaviness of the baby they are carrying. None of this sets them up to be in a great place mentally, physically or spiritually!

This physical stress causes restrictions for natural births to happen easily. Typically labour is long and places even more stress on mum's body, mind and the baby.

There is alot of advertising out there that promotes the benefits of a beauty massage which is light and relaxing and bears no resemblance to a pregnancy massage. Pregnancy massage is much more than an ordinary beauty massage. Pregnancy massage is a tool to get you ready for motherhood. It releases the muscles gently as the weight gain causes weakness, pins and needles and swelling as the baby gets heavier. It helps keep fatigue low and keeps up a mum's strength while she is working.

Life is good with massage. Pregnancy is MUCH better with massage!!

How To Wake Up With Helen’s Down To Earth Approach Each Morning!

Helen — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:42:29 +0000

Wake Up With

The Down To Earth Approach Each Morning

by Helen Brougham

Studies have shown that how we are in the first few minutes of waking up from sleeping is directly in line with how we will feel for the rest of the day.

Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you feel in the morning?

Mums are tired!!! You are on the go all day long with small children. Your mind has to be at least 2-3 steps ahead of what each child is thinking and what they are going to do!! Your mind is on high alert all day and all night … listening.

Here are 3 of my BEST tips to help Mums everywhere!!

Get a remedial massage each month for 1 hour.
Let your husband/partner spend quality time with the children from the very start.
Go for a walk, sit quietly and take in fresh air … all by yourself

With small children your day can start much earlier than the alarm clock is set to wake you! And on the weekend it's no different! small children will get up pretty much at the same time they wake during the week. The classic response of 'go back to bed its not time' works until they get older and if your children are older already, watching cartoons on TV or DVD are helpful for early risers!

When the children were small it was loud noise music that I just could not sleep through. It would bring me out of the deep sleep I needed so much. When I was really fatigued and being woken up by the children at night, I was desperate to take advantage of every minute to stay in bed and sleep that I could.

As the children grew older, their sleeping patterns changed. Thankfully mum got some more sleep!! Speaking with other Mums over the years, I found that everyone starts to recover from being fatigued after a few years, but sleep patterns are always changing when children are around. Some children don't want to go to bed or think that if they do go to bed, they will miss out on what is going on at night!!! If you expect their sleep patterns to change over the years, you will find that there is no right or wrong way for children to sleep.

If you don't know why your child is the way they are, remember back to how you were at your child's age, this will give you the understanding of what is going on!

Since those days I found a new way to wake up in the morning because I don't like loud noisy music to wake me up and get me out of bed. Waking up like that had me jerking out of my deep sleep into a high alert feeling and straight into a bunch of negative thoughts all because of the sharpness of the sounds.

In a down to earth approach it is about creating your morning your way, I like to wake up before the alarm, stretch in bed and when the music alarm comes on, I have a peaceful gentle sound that slowly bring me to the surface of my mind and out of my dreams.

On waking, I remember my dream and I write my dream down in a book that I keep next to my bed. As I write I can hear the birds outside my window singing and the sun is shining through the curtains. This is lovely start, in a positive way, to greet each day.

Each of us all have ways to wake up to the day. Some enjoy going for run or walk in the morning, others sit and read the paper and relax and eat breakfast.

So the way the morning starts for you is how the day also starts for your children. You can create each morning exactly the way you would like your home to be like. You are the one that can set the morning Mum!! Yes, there is always one child that takes extra time to do what they do. Having the bags in one place, clothes all together in one area, lunches ready the night before helps you have time and extra patience with your children when you need it.

Come over to my Facebook Page and let me know your thoughts how you create your down to earth approach each morning? I will be there waiting to hear from you.

Quit Bouncing Listen To Your Child

Helen — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 05:12:51 +0000

Quit Bouncing - Listen To Your Child

by Helen Brougham

A child comes to their parents when they don't know what to do.

But how you act while your child is talking to you is so important to any future conversation.

Listen, do not interrupt your child talking be patient
Keep your cool, no matter what !!!!!
Ask your child how can you help them
Ask for permission or give your child some ideas
Less talking on your part (the parent) works best

Be aware of any negative behaviour or any negative communication.

Listen to what your child is saying NOT your own experiences from the past. If your past experiences are negative, from fearful situations, and if your mind is wandering away, STOP and bring yourself back and be present with your child

The reason children stop talking to their parents is because parents stop listening and became angry, upset, start yelling and making their children wrong.

Remember when you were a child and you stopped talking to your parents??? I stopped talking to my Dad when he made fun of me in front of other people - in that moment I decided I could not trust him.

Why is it that our children have problems with relationships?

Most children don't know what has happened in their parents' lives. Many times how a parent reacts to what their child is saying does go back to their own childhood issue or an issue that happened some time during the parent's life. When your child is talking to you and you begin to get upset, what is actually triggering your reaction is what happened to you when you were their age! Children really don't have problems talking to their parents until they experience something that causes them to believe it is not safe to do so. Too many parents don't think they can help their children … but patiently listening to their children has been shown to be some of the best help a parent can give their child.

Recently I spoke with a little girl about 9 years old. She was not enjoying school and did not want to go back to school after the holiday. Her Mum noticed a while ago a change in her daughters behaviour. After speaking with the little girl, her Mum found out that she was being teased terribly by her classmates. they came to me for some coaching about how to best deal with this situation.

One of two things usually happens when someone is teasing a child, the child will either block it out, or they will believe what is being said to them straight away. It is really important to teach children that it is not about them, and that it is about the person who is saying the stuff that is bothering them.

Everybody – other parents, siblings, friends at school, even the child's teacher says that the child is stressed out, and that the child has an issue with feeling left out of things. The child wants to know what's wrong with her. She feels like no one understands her. The child starts to act up and rebel - she stops doing what people want her to do, starts getting angry, stops listening to what her parents and others have to say. Sometimes, a child will begin speaking without stopping, or even stop communicating all together and become silent.

What is really happening is children see and pick up feelings from the people act around them and how they are acting ….

This little 9 year old girl had a teacher who had her favorite students in the class. however the little girl was not one of the favorites. The little girl believed that the teacher did not want to know her and she was annoyed by this. In addition, the little girl was having a hard time with math because it was hard for her to do. So, the child was kept in at lunchtime and she felt the teacher was punishing her because she could not play with her only friend. She was even told by one of the other girls to not play with her friend or she would be in trouble.

Parents listen to your child, you do have more answers than you think, be confident! Go and see your child's teacher. Be open and and willing to listen to what they have to say. It helps to be friends with your children's friends' parents. As they grow and want everything that there friends have, all of you can work together to help one another and balance out what they really need with what they say they want just because they see their other friends with it.

Be confident in your ability to help your child. They need you more than they need others. There are many tools out there that you can use to build confidence to help you learn the skills you need to become the kind of confident parent you want to be!

How To Go From Grief and Fatigue To Freedom

Helen — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 06:00:52 +0000

Many issues are happening in the world

Are you ready for change?

We love abundance in every area of our lives - this is when life is good and everything is flowing is easily.

Life just feels fabulous and you can do …

What you want
When you want
How you want
Buy what you want.

When there are changes many people call this going without, getting less than normal, having to change the way I have been doing my work and it doesn't inspire me. People often start referring to their work as brain numbing and repetitive. They often will call it "messy".

It takes intentional focus to get your mind around "going without and struggle" to get to abundance..

There are a lot of feelings that go with change, fear, anxiety and the unknown future.

Most people don't enjoy creating new ways of doing things. But after they change something and find themselves feeling confident in what they are doing, often they can look back over time and see that they have learned a lot from that experience. This is a natural part of growing and excelling to new levels of what is possible for you.

I look at change as part of the process of moving through all those little experiences along the way. I am growing a solid foundation for abundance, for bigger and better experiences to enjoying my life.

My massage clients come in with back and neck pain. Often they have headaches and pain in their eyes. This is your body telling you, "HEY!!! I need help."

Part of the conversation I have when I am working with my clients, is that they talk about what is happening for them. Interestingly enough, as they talk, the stress is being released from the muscles that carry the tension and pain through the different massage techniques I use!

What I have found is many of my clients are so fatigued from holding it all together for too long a time, that when the stressful situation has passed, they are even worse than before. They are very, very tired. Everything is tooooo hard. They even feel foggy in their minds and can't think straight. Most of the time, all they want to do is sleep!

This gets mis-diagnosed as depressionmany times –

It is really shock of change
Fatigue of holding it all together
Being strong to support others
Grief a loss of how it was, when you felt comfortable and in control of your own life.

Stop reading, read this again !!! Is this you?

Each client releases this stress and has got the tools to create whatever kind of job they really want within them already. This is very exciting for me to watch. Instead of worrying about what they don't want, even if it is a different type of job, they are able to just be open to what is possible.

Not too long ago, my husband needed to change jobs because of the down turn in steel industry.

He wanted to create his new place down the end of the street with nice people and to have fun. A few weeks later he found a job a new business had started up in the building next door to our home. Wow that was fantastic.

When I looked back over the few weeks when very little money was coming in, I noticed how little we lived on, but we did not go without, I felt inspired by what we did live on.

After that time I changed the way I was thinking about alot of things in my life. I noticed a new comfort and ease around having enough to live on because we had already gone through those few weeks of having very little.

Each change does not have to be negative and uncomfortable. If you pay attention to the lessons and learn from them, soon you will start embracing change for the good thing it really is!

Change can look like a new challenge that can step you into the next level of empowering you to become stronger, happier, accelerate your personal growth, allow you to learn new skills, how to trust in yourself more than ever before and be proud of what you have done.

Learn how to take yourself through tough times so you become wiser and accelerate yourself to success, no matter what the newspapers and TV's say..

I'm here to serve you in anyway to enjoy your empowering life!

Living with Grief Part 7. What To Do? WE Lost Our Money!

Helen — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 01:32:12 +0000

We lost our money

I don't trust myself or anybody else… all that hard work

The shock of doing the right thing, trying to get ahead … to have it all turn sour …

You become sad, are in total disbelief, frustrated, angry. You are feeling a sense of grief and loss. You feel betrayed … how could they?!?! You don't want to trust anybody and can't trust yourself because you got it wrong. You are feeling shame because you feel you have let the family down. And … you are sick worrying about how you are going to make up the money!!!

You have saved money by going without, or a family member left you some money or [they said] you could take out a loan from the bank…

They said, and we did what they told us to do …

We bought that expensive house they said we could afford. The money would get us a good return on our investment.

Yes, all the guru financial people said to invest here and there and we hoped they knew what they were talking about.

A few years ago when our children were younger, we thought we needed to make more money so that we could help them financially when they wanted to go to the city to study. We had paid all the installment off by Christmas time and we were happy. Then we got a letter from them, telling us they were sorry, but some guy ran of with all the money!! (How often has this happened to lots of people and you have heard the same story before?)

Now years later I realized that if I had put that money myself into a high deposit, bank account and kept adding money into that account every week – a safer place, a guaranteed place – at least I would have been in control of my destiny. I also realize now that I should have taken responsibility for my own education about the in's and out's of running my business by seeking people who have already achieved what I wanted to achieve – people who know how to get there, have been successful themselves and have helped other people become successful. Doing my own due diligence, educating myself and listening to my own instincts would have served me really well!

Some things I learned to pay attention to:

People have what I call the gift of the gab. They give amazing speeches, but delivery is often zero or very poor and they just can't do what they say they will do.
Some have the expensive car out the back (looking good and are doing it with leased cars)
Some have an old car not doing very well.
Each may getting a commission from what they are selling you, so they are there for themselves to profit from selling their product to you.
You can not ask the person speaking how they make their money and get an answer!

Listen to what is being said, but be aware of the risks involved. Buying your own home at an "affordable"price – and I am not talking about the best home in the best neighborhood on the best street BUT I am talking about what you can afford and pay off as quickly as possible – is, for me, freedom. There is NO freedom in having to stretch yourself out and struggle pay the money back just because the bank says you can afford the monthly payment. You know your situation better than anyone else. If you can't afford it and pay for it quickly, don't buy it!

Being careful with your debt and starting a family brings the opportunity for new choices. Maybe you will choose to stay home more often so that your finances aren't stressed out. Others will want to travel. For more ideas about how to make great financial decisions for yourself and your family, read Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad books.

Take a look at how your family handled money. Did your parents make good financial choices or poor ones? Lift yourself up and see where both of your families were with money and where they are up to now!

You could tweak how you handle your money a little by knowing what you already know about how your parents handled their finances.. It is always easy to see where others are going wrong and so with out judging your family tweak those places you know you can improve on to make your life and finances flow in harmony.

Our money issues are handed down through all the generations. This is not wrong or right it is how your family does money. It's what you know because it is what you were exposed to..

Now look at how your family is going right now, have a look at how your partners family does money, now.

Put your two families together
Would they be compatible with each other money ways
Would there be a conflict? Is money spent completely differently between the two families?

This is a good indicator of how you are doing with money and what you will have at your parents age if left the same. Remember, this is not for you to say to your parents how they can do better. This is an insight for you to achieve more being humble in your new knowledge.

There are three things that don't change much from one generation to the next.

Parent Type 1. They work hard, long hours, make lots of money, their children get lots of things to entertainment themselves with - anything to keep them happy. What these children don't get is the time, connection, hugs and support in everyday life they want and need.

Parent Type 2. They will choose a not so demanding job in order to be able to spend time with their children. They hug their children, talk with their children, take them to sports. Lots of times they will even be the soccer coach! These parents will be home for dinner with the family, help with homework and bathe the children at night. They have a close relationship with their partner and help in the kitchen and around the house – all because they want to.

Parent Type 3. They are living in everyday life. They have figured out how to make the combination of work and life work! They took the time to plan how to have both because they want a happy down to earth lifestyle living their very best life!

You need to be prepared to spend money for your education.

I took a sales course before we bought our home so I would know what the paper work would look like, what to be aware of, which people I would need to hire to get the house checked to make sure it was a sound house, to know that the wiring in the house was done well and what to do if I bought a house as an investment property. when I finally did buy a house for investment purposes, I took the property management course so that I would know what to do when I had tenants move in.

Which investment should I chose?

There is no perfect investment
Government policies change over night
There are risks to everything that we do
Take the time to evaluate each section and be happy with your clear choice
Each minute, each day, each week, each month and year you can adjust and shift as new information comes through and you are keeping up with what is going on.
There is no one person that knows all about everything.

Be prepared that if you do give money to anyone, including a family member, and you can see that things are not going well, that your money is not being cared for, you probably will not get your money back. This WILL affect your family and relationship with that person.

Something to keep in mind is that we always look after our own money better than we look after others money because we have worked hard to get that money. Look at the integrity of that person. Are they a person who has proven to be their word in the past? Many people use manipulation to get what they and if you are not careful that can cost you. Will they be upset and angry if you don't give them money? that's a good indication that saying "No" is the right thing to do so that you honor yourself first!

There are people who would rather give it away to help others. While this is lovely, it does not help support their family. You can really help the person learn how to make his own money by saying No. There is a big difference between giving someone a hand up and giving them a hand out!

I have seen parents give to their community generously, only to find out that the family is struggling to have enough. There are many past stories in a child's life that can show why we do the things we do.This happens often when a child received a present from a family member and they were very disappointed with that present. And, in that moment of disappointment the child decides that they are never going to give anyone an awful present.

One woman I coached made sure to go to great lengths to find out what someone really wants. It did not matter how much the present cost. She would always give the person something they loved. She is known for her generosity, and it show how someone goes in a totally opposite direction to have people happy.

The disappointment for her came when it was her birthday. The presents she received were always disappointing and very small. She was always being disappointed because to her a present represented love. In her mind love = caring person and a good present = happy person.

When she remembered that feeling of disappointment, she would continue buying amazing gifts for everyone so they did not feel disappointed. But the gifts she received from everyone else were cheap and purchased with no thought given at all. She made this mean that they did not care enough about her to get it right because she cared so much that she made sure to get it right for them.

Now she is aware of the first time it happened when she was opening her present as a little girl and what she made it mean. Armed with that new awareness she can find the middle range to be balanced and centered.

Even though she is skilled at knowing what people want and don't want, she now has an awareness of how people feel when they are unhappy and that she does not need to fix anything. She just needs to be herself. She and her husband now spend their money on constructing their new garden.

Expect left field. What do I mean by that? It is when everything is going well, life and money are flowing along in line with how you are expecting them to go. And then, out of left field, something unknown and unexpected to you comes in and affects what is happening and things change.

It can be something to do with the government, laws are changed, a person dies unexpectedly, people say one thing and don't do what they say they were going to do and 5 minutes later they change their mind, and totally leave you holding the problem.

With the coaching we to do we look at the grief and the stress that has held you back and stepping through life's challenges. When you know where the deep stress comes from and the impact that grief has had upon you and your life, we are able to help you get past what has stopped you so that you can move forward in your life powerfully.

You can make appointment to come directly to Chelsea Massage Clinic and I will be glad to help. For those who live outside of Adelaide, I will be glad to set up an appointment on Skype with you. Simply send an email to chelseamassage@live.com.au and let me know how I can help!

Love to hear your comments!!

Love and Blessings!!

Helen

Living with Grief- Part 6. How To Deal With Being Bullied!

Helen — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 07:06:35 +0000

Living with Grief. Part 6.

How To Deal With Being Bullied

By Helen Brougham

One person bullying is someone talking to you, can be they are very loud or can be quiet the words they use are sharp
One person thinking they are being fun is bullying but taken the wrong way because the person does not know how to deal with what they are saying or behaviour
When you get your new job and you don't know anybody and at work their are people that feel the need to behaviour badly some have no idea, others think they are funny and some are in their stuff and acting like a child themselves and are acting badly because they can.

School Behaviour

When a child is hitting pushing biting yelling angry loud and using awful words, this is coming from watch that behaviour around the child.
For children they are always watching how to be in life THEY COPY YOU

A mum with three children she was horrified that her son had never hit her before but all of a sudden started throwing himself around and hitting her, she was in shock why was he doing that. I asked her to look at who was doing to you 'mum' because he thinks it is OK, because he is waiting this behaviour towards you. The Mum found a family member was raising his voice and bad behaviour at her. Once she stopped the adult person from doing that to her and explained to her son how it goes he stopped and the behaviour straight away.

School Bullying

Yes, you can let your child endured and put up with working out on their own or with the school or not help your child at all calling it a learning experience.
Expect within a very short time you will have a traumatized child.
Expect to have a child self esteem and self confident take a dive.
This can take more than a life time to return to confident person.
As adults are you still struggling with your stuff that happened at school and in your younger life.
Children are watching how the teachers are treating each other and how they treated by the teacher

Start a new job

The one thing we all hope for is that we are going to be working with nice people and the bonus of having friends as we spend more time at work, than we do home with family and on weekends.

Many people have long term friend from school, their first job and even have friends from each job and still catch up regularly

Bullying ways

Often people don't realize their way of communication with others is too much or that they are offending the other person, often this is because of past experiences of being bullied are still suffering. So they are very sensitive to everybody, including themselves and these people stay home alone. It is easier that way.

What are the signs that you are being to over powering

They stop talking
They put their arms across their stomach
They stop standing tall
Others will growl or snap back at you

The only way to be with another

Speak to the level of the other person if they are little bit quiet, you talk quietly so you are being with the other person. You see communication is not about you, it is about being with the other person and listening to them.

When you are in business the communication is with integrity

When speaking with children talk with them, listen to what they are saying, this is a two way street.

Now if the child does not get the new lesson or new information about what does not work for them and that people will stay away and they will be alone, not want to play with you. Other gather a group to be safe and because they don't want to be bullied themself. Most bullies have not had an upgrade of information.

Many of you related with this "how many times have you seen this happen, it been on the news and in the papers"

A person that starts the behaviouring badly to another person, most time they take a lot to upset them and some are sensitive and is a shorter time but the moment the one being pushed teased and being bad abusive words stands up to defense himself against what is happen to him. In that moment of defending himself, usually has had enough and can't take anymore will comes out fighting.

WHO IS THE ONE that is punished the one that did not start it.

Who started the abuse Nothing ever happens to the bully that started it in the beginning. They seeking to be disruptive and impact their negative on everybody they chose. So if you start the abuse first and you get the other person into trouble, they win the game of abuse. Always look at who really started the behaviour and the penalty is becoming much higher and harsher penalty than the retaliate.

Each person can be the bully or be bullied in different situation

Life is about healing and treating each other with respect and communication

See where you as a child have been in any one of these places and we can look at bring peace to the world. Empowering you and your family, bring in how you can be empowered to be all that you can be and the insights that gives you the next level you can feel it but have not reached so far but is available through this book.

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