Living With Grief – Part 1 Family Member

Has someone die close to you? It can be heart renching feeling that cannot be explained or know until it happens and reaction are very individual.

For me I was in denial I did not want lose my grandparents as I wanted to keep them with me.

And does not matter how long they have been gone it still feel a few days ago, as soon as you think back to the date it was a lot long time that person has been gone 5 years ago, 10 years ago or even 23 years ago

For me, my grandparents had been in my life 31 years, they always lived across the road on the farm, married for 56 years, one son, six grandchildren, age 80 & 81 years old, die 8 days apart, same church, same funeral director, same coffin and the same yellow flowers.

I had not experienced a funeral or the loss of someone close, it was time to say goodbye and the final time to give my grandma a picture and a cards to take with her. At the funeral, it felt numb, it was hard to talk and people find it difficult to say or make conversation. Some families it can become the time when you all catch up.

So this is about what I know, my own experiences and the search for living without my grandparents.

SO Living with Grief

•   We don't know when our time is up
•   When the ones we love time is up.

    All we can do is live with love, peace and joy, relationship filled with abundance of children, family and friends and life experiences.

How does your mind react to someone close die?

First it is shock and your mind goes numb, it like a part of yourself leaves you, some feel like a big hole has been pulled out of your chest or stomach area. Anger, they are not here and feel like they can't cope and you miss them. You think of situation you could have handled better, I did not do this and could have done that, negative words were exchanged, can't take them back, feeling bad and make yourself wrong. It is very hard to think straight, like you are in a foggy all day and night, this feeling is called grief.

Many feel sick in the tummy other will want to be on their own to cry. Some if they start to cry want to cry and cry and cry. The fear then becomes if I cry I would not be able to stop crying.  Some people struggle and can’t cry at all because of the shock.Other keep looking at the ones that don’t cry make that wrong.  Everybody handles grief in their own way. And if you have already experienced grief it will trigger you in feeling those feelings all over again and that is OK.

Have you seen someone laughing and making joke and they can’t sit still this how they are dealing with their grief and sadness.

A funeral is to honour that person, to lay to rest and a place where you can be with that person anytime.

When the funeral is over and everybody has gone home, back to their life and they will get on with their life much easier, but the ones at spent every day, every week being apart of each others lives are the ones that miss them and the loneliness of not having them present in everyday life.

They come into our dreams to tell us how to they are going and letting you know how they are.

My grandma came one night and showed me her going down the stairs without her walking stick and how happy she was. Allow these dreams to come and comfort you. Until we go there ourselves we don’t know really how far away from us they really are.

What if they can watched us out the window and come just be with us, other time go off and being out there doing what they do and return to see what we are doing, if that is what we want, would that be a lovely way to remember them. Also remember there is family waiting on the other side, waiting but we will not know till we get there but if that has you and me feel comfortable with where our special people are, that they are not suffering then we can rest easy.

I’m up for feeling comfortable. I had a mentor say once, that my grandparents were back on earth in 9 years, I got excited thinking, I could go and see them and be with them and the mentor said, they may have chosen a new experience to have this time round, and that does make sense to me and that was OK. For me we don’t know till we get there.  I have heard mum's say I feel my dad around me or mum is watching and protecting me or watching over the girls.

               7 Things to do in Remembrance

1. On their birthday make their favourite dish
2. Talk about your special person by name all the time and the fun you got up to.
3. Have a happy photo up so all the family can see your special person
4. At Christmas and other special time at the beginning of those special times
5. I always say hi to grandma and grandpa
6. Think of  your special person as they are present as they would be when they were alive having lunch with us.
7. Start living your life as they would want you too.

               3 Things to Rebalance your Body, Mind and Spirit

1. See a coach with special skills that can help fill in the hole, remove shock and rebalance your body.
2. Start regular massage to relax your muscles, distress body and relax your mind.
3. Start gentle yoga or polites with massage session

Living with Grief – Part 2.  "Should Children Go to the Funeral?"

How living with grief been for you?  leave a comment below, love to hear from you….

Red leads to the emotions going from calm in the middle to chaos is the ups and the down swings of how you feel.

Green is where when the stress fatigue and pain continues this is where pain increases up and up as pain increases.

The blue  is show when the bodies muscles are relaxed and mind is relaxed there becomes a balance that stay in the happy and energized zones and the flows in your life is easier.

• Which line are you?
• Which have you been when you have been happy?
• Which line would you like to enjoy?

I discovered many years ago that all I had to do was have a regular massage then life would be much easier for me – it was like everything that was out of balance naturally slipped back into balance. My massage clients tell me all the time how much better they feel after just having a massage. They also started experiencing much more BALANCE in their lives!

Only you can discover for yourself if regular remedial massage will help you find the balance you crave in your life!!

Does THIS Look Like How You FEEL?

Regular remedial massage can help you stop your pain, recharge your battery,  recover from injuries, sleep deeply the whole night through, unlock the barriers holding you back, feel stronger, get your life and health back on track and in balance once again!

Your muscles hold the physical and emotional stress in their fibres.  Have you noticed that when you are stuck you find life difficult and it seems that it is so hard to move forward?  This happens because often the body is in pain, fatigued and overwhelmed. You may even experience all of that along with headaches.  Is blaming others a common occurrence for you?

When you are relaxed, happy and comfortable you make better choices each day, you become more productive, and get what you want done quickly and more easily because you have energy, not PAIN. How would living like that make you feel? Happier, more fulfilled, more BALANCED?

I’ve been professionally massaging clients for 17 years.  By taking a holistic approach to therapeutic massage and using my coaching expertise to teach people how to successfully make changes in their health and personal lives, I have seen the quality of people's lives change for the better very quickly! I believe that we create our physical state through our unconscious decisions and beliefs about ourselves which can limit our experiences and ultimately stop us from fulfilling life long dreams.

My passion is massaging and teaching Mums how to de-stress their children using the same massage techniques I use in my clinic. I have a particular interest with pregnant Mums and business women in helping them to achieve their full potential lifestyle to have it all.

At my Massage and Reflexology Clinic I have created a safe, peaceful and happy place for both individuals and families. I find such joy in watching people transform their physical state from terrible suffering to freedom from pain, their lives from chaos to balance and calm.

If you are tired of walking around feeling like a zig-zag, totally zapped of energy, I would love to see you at the clinic. Let's work together to get your body and life back in balance! It would be my honor to help you as I have helped so many others! You can click here to get more information about the services we provide at the Clinic!

How do you attract what you want for your ideal job?

from last blog talked about staying positive and ways to do that.

As children growing up you just don't get what you wanted all the time but as an adult you are the creator of what you want and getting it.

The job that suites you and what you like to do.

Many times it is having a go at seeing, what feels good for you, often till you are doing different things that you find out what you enjoy. For myself I love look after the animals then I enjoy looking after our children. There always felt a common theme through all those stages of my life, where I found I would be looking after the injuries on the animals and on my children. Now massage and looking after people when they are hurting, stress or fatigue is same theme I have always felt this was an area where I could make a different.

This is how you to can find what you enjoy, you will find your area with a company or group, an area that rocks for you and that is where you make your different empowering yourself and help other enjoy life to. How do you know which area is your area? You are happy,  time goes by very quick, when your having fun, you get a lot done and your out of bed in the morning to go of to work because you are happy.

Happy person, Happy family, Happy life.

Let create the job you want!

      1. Do you want an inside or outside job?

• Inside  / Outside

       2. How much do you want to be paid?

• $ ideal>+
• The more money, the more effort, more responsible

       3. What type of work?

• Home / children / wife / work balance
• Travel in Job
• Overseas live
• Working with your hand making things
• Office desk job

      4.  What do you want to wear in this job?

• Suite
• Uniform you wash
• Uniform company washes
• Clothes get dirty every day
• Sports clothes
• Casual

      5. What kind of people do you want to work with?

• Happy
• Gossips
• Relaxed 
• Kind
• Fun at work
• Enjoy life
• Friendship with people

      6. How big of a company do you want to work in?

• On your own
• one on one
• 1 – 5 other person
• 10-20 small group of people
• large group of workers together.

These are only some of what you can look at for yourself, it is a start to give you some ideals.

One client "Got the dream job", more money, work from 9am – 5.30pm, nice people and no gossip policy, the owner had integrity and owner to the business was excited about his own business. 5 minutes from home, no traffic to be concerned about and yes, he is happy.

Next client  Man was chased and they wanted him so much yes we want you. He left his full time permment job to work in a cleaner job down the end of the street business. He was happy $2.00 per hour more OK, down the end of street no driving anywhere.

2 1/2 weeks later we are closing the other shop. (Fun shop still open) sad so close and easy to get there. It must be closer to home that is what you said you wanted, other interview were miles away, 3 weeks later the shop around the corner got leased out.

My client was asked by the people around the corner to do some work for them later in the afternoon, yes, week by week, he got more work around the corner help the people. Trucks were coming and he could be there to let them in to collect and drop of boxes, he was around the corner. He is happy

Your job could be around the corner?

Have a look at what you said you wanted

I know how you feel, I felt that sinking feeling, I found that when life changes,

It can appear to be TOO BIG…

When you just know there is a lot going on out there and you may not be able to change out there, don't get caught up in what going on.

If you are in business now is not the time to do lots of new unknown advertising ( not proven effective) unless you know that works remember it is nothing to do with what you are doing,  People in business are solution finders  keep improving what you do and as long as you stay positive and change small things, talking to your clients, ask questions, give great service and give what they would like from you.  The negative side of what is happening can slide if unaware of that side.

At the moment more are without work full time, there is a suffering but turn around face the other direction outwardly, at how else you can do, what you do and be ready and different, how doing some little job here and little job there, get you out of the home, create some income for groceries, fuel for the car and small items, this all counts.

If you looking for a job, talking with people, learning new skills from each little job you do, all the little jobs are learning new skills, all adds up, these things will keep you moving forward, it is called skills and different variety of little jobs. Get to know the locals in your area because they hear from other people what is going on and may put your name forward and it could be near where you live, one person may have an job opening, right next door.

Take your children to school, meet their teachers, say good morning to other parents, see how your children's routine is in the morning, when they get to school, watch how their friends greet them in the morning, they are so excited and the same in the afternoon, picking your children up from school, this is a time your children will tell you about their day.

"Stay in yourself" this may seem strange to say but when you keep doing what works for you, having your massage, reading books, keep updating your mind with new knowledge, moderate exercise, eating food that is fresh vegetables and fruit, stay away from junk food as it makes the body very heavy and sluggish, massage your children feet when you put them to bed at night, this will sooth them to sleep well and ALL night and you get a good night sleep too.

Sit and talk with your partner in the patio or garden setting or out in a sunny park about the new things you have discovered, write in your journey each day, one page each day moving forward.

I  feel excited when I take my grandchildren to school, I felt their excitement, their shining smile and found they do look forward to playing in the play ground before the bell and showing me all the ways they can climb and swing from pipe to the next area.

Enjoy what they enjoy and get excited with them. Our children can teach us so much about playing and staying happy and not get drag into negative stuff

Keep upgrading your resume, don't be shy in ringing about the job available, talk to the owner, smile, keep a calm and relaxed view of life.

You are playing a different game

Business Owners want

Happy

Easy going

Relaxed

and

I'll show what I want !

How I want it!

and

You do the work the way I want well people

This is when you succeed.

Love to hear how it been for you and what you have found that works for you below and go to facebook how you kept positive?

and go to chelseamassage facebook and "Like me" and receive your Report new easy pick me up techniques to relax

Next kind of job do you want?

See you there

Remedial Massage has everything do with personal success

Stress comes from the every direction and is packed away into the bodies muscles like a storage box. When the muscles are used more the lays build up and become restricted and becomes layers of matting

Some of the side affects are

1. Stiffness in the joints
2. Upset easily
3. Loss of sleep
4. Wake at 3-4 am in the morning
5. Eat more than usual
6. Other  feel angry and frustrated with you
7. Pain on movement and sitting

Often it is hard to know what is happening to yourself when you are right in the middle of the chaos and pain

People around you can feel uncomfortable and don't know how be with you with you so are more on your own

Remedial Massage has the abilities to shift you from all those above to an amazing place of physical and emotional empowerment you can feel the warmth of a smile inside, easy movement, balanced, energy and freedom to do the things that you enjoy.

A client that was been struggling with all the side effects above came in she almost was a different person

• She had pretty lipstick on
• She had  gray hair when first meet her but today a complete change she went to the hairdresser and got her hair coloured
• She had been walking to the shops and home again with her best friend her dog.
• Was able to roll over in bed without pain
• Has gone fishing 3 times
• Driving her car again
• Start gardening this week
• She is so happy

I been having massage regularly for 21 years and this is not brag, I have always felt better since I started having my massages regularly when I started my massage business in Port Lincoln and later years now living in Adelaide, and through having regular massage I have  a full time remedial and pregnancy massage practice. It is very physical work.

Personal, massage has kept me strong, relaxed and enjoying my passion with a full and busy family life.

 I want you to get the results you want!

Learn more about what you can have to

The path way to Happiness

When people, you and life are confusing, what can you do get clarity and change the outcome?

Go back to when you start to realize that life did not need to be so hard and so confusing and in upset mode all the time and you started searching for peace in your life, the path way did not seem to be anywhere easy to bring you out of being confused all the time there will be times that you will need help from an outside source to get to the bottom of what is there. It is really is impossible to do it in your own head because it goes around and around in your head.

You will know when this is changing when there is a real lightness, in your body your shoulder will relax a little, your thoughts will stop chattering and running at a hundred mile an hour and people will smile at you, others will want to talk to you even new people you don’t know will come to you and you will find children and babies know and will smile at you.

Why would they smile at you?

It is easy to see when we are sad and upset, the same is for when we are happy and relaxed. That is why people will stay away from us when we are negative or we can bring people to us by being happy and relaxed.

It also is very true being on the phone in business, working with people around you and working for a boss if you are happy and smiling everybody wants to join you being happy. When you are negative, some stay away from you, you may have noticed already, negative goes around and around then returns home to the start point.

The same is for our relationships as parents if you want your children to talk and play nice, then the BIG part for us as parents to do show others how to play and talk nice to.

If there is an upset around you and the things you say are not helping and you feel nobody is listening, just stop sit back, watch what is going on outside of you, what is happening  may not be to do with you at all. Remember everybody is in their own fears and concerns.

As you feel happy and relax you are stepping up into your path and will feel so easy just to be there everything starts to flow and your life and relationship will how you hoped life would be.

What is happening to you is I call it when you are falling off your pathway, a detour to where you were going and feeling that wonderful relax way and you’re wondering, what has happened and the negative stuff is back.

Recognise where you are and  step back on to your path!

The more you practice the longer you stay on your true path of happiness and the life you want

I would love hear your comments and how you have found your path to Love, Peace and Joy?

Look for Happy or Sad Emotions

To control your mind and emotions

Our emotions can be wonderful to feel joy, happy and to feel all the other emotions too like sad and alone

What are they these feelings that come up from within us and why are they attached to our thoughts and the way of expressing how we are feeling? we are human and they are our feelings.

Some emotions are accepted more than others eg. Anger is more difficult to deal with and people are afraid to be with others as it can be uncontrollable and unacceptable.

Sadness is another emotion that is hard to understand if a person is in this place

Why are they there so we can feel all the feelings and your emotion? Life would be like a robot no connection to one another. Our feeling

Here is a very old story true or not this is a story... Back in the beginning there was nothing to do but sit and be. One day they decided to play, back and forth, then they would change over and play again and again which filled up the day and make it go quicker, over time they forgot it was a game and the game became real the more time went on it the game became serious and real.

The more the game went on, life was filled with games that everybody played, now others started to play in the games with everybody else, so all the games were happening to each person and so the day was full of life and the games we play with everybody. Have a look around in your life.

How does our emotions help us we get to feel what is really going on and the different expressions of the face, body language, eyes heavy looking, slow talking and slow walking with their head down? these are ways

Keep them in check be aware of how you are when you get upset, when you are angry, when you are alone what you will reach for when you are upset.

I have brought a book from the bookshop, it any book not necessary the book to help and I noticed I never read it.

• Who go for the fridge when sad and alone?
  
• Who's yelled at someone without thinking and your emotions took over
• Who of you have written something on facebook that will be on there forever for everybody to see in a fit of anger, want to hurt someone with their words.
• You have had no idea of the impact it had on the other person or group of people.
• This can be very damaging and hurtful.

Never response if you are upset.

You say the wrong thing often the response has been anger, frustration, disappointed, confusion, sadness, alone and vonerable all mixed up all together.

While upset people are often inconsolable they are total in themselves, so unaware of anything, they are shut down and in their mind are surrounded by a brick wall of hopelessness caving in on them.The conditioning during growing up from our experiences comes from parents and siblings relationships, at school, from your peers and your lifestyle and communications.

This where we learn grow and become the best person we can.

The positive issues that we have learned over the years have us strong but the issues that were upsetting that caused anger and frustration and this can come on at anytime and be out of control due to new upset.

This can last from a few moments to 30 minutes, 2-4 hours and even 2-4 days depending on each person level of understanding about themselves.

This can happen for the first time or more often over time, some learn how to deal with this in many ways.

Covering up their feelings, drinking alcohol to take the pain away, smoking to relax and numb the brain and many more.

A new and easier way

is to get to know yourself when it is likely to happen in any kind of situations and what to do next and not do when you feel like that. Also when you expect life is going well and something changes and it comes out of left field the unknown that was unexpected you did not know about.

You may not even know what you are upset about. Just stop, sit and breath. just see it for what is happening in the moment what is going on.

You will not be willing to look at anything their because of the upset so these people shut down and avoid it all together, don't go there, stay and listen to the people that are sitting there with you can see from the outside what you can not see and will help with your understanding. Many seek coaching to resolve and get to know yourself and how to deal with these reactions.

This affects other people that it is directed to or not at them, often they shut down from everything.

One thing I thoughts of few days ago was when I got upset I felt like I went into a mini shock and I felt dizzy so now that is a sign and I am aware of what to expect now to say it's ok to myself.

Awareness is the Key

The way is too keep calm, stop and breath, know in yourself "I am responsible for myself and what happens each and every day" this is a freeing way to be and to make those choices

Listen to your mentor and close friends that are there for you.

Look at how the situation came up has this happened to me before or have I done that to other people?

Do I have strong boundaries for love peace and joy.

 Enjoy all relationships is having a great relationship with yourself first

 Be happy

Stop Struggling, Empowering yourself first gets the dream

Empowering yourself first can real easy if you are you having a great day or an average day but days where you struggling all the time is so frustrating? This happens to all of us. One thing that comes from struggling is you know it is not a happy place to stay for too long.

People who have this dream to their empowering future path do struggle for a short time, look at the choices and move forward, others people stay too long, resist the zone to future dreams, this does stop where you are going, you do go in a completely different direction because you think you got it wrong the struggling causes anxiety and up set in every other area of your life.

I know because I struggled in the past, now I spend less and less time there, I make better choices and know what is going on in that moment of getting to the edge. Once I thoughts others were stopping me, this is called blaming other, now I know it was my fears, feelings and thoughts that stopped me. This is why I can see where others struggle and show them their choices to go through the zone, nobody can make you do anything until you don't want struggle anymore only you can chose.

Now it is my choice to be responsible for myself everything moves in a positive way and in abundance way. This is what you can do to have the life you want.

Now it is my choice to be responsible for myself everything moves in a positive way and in abundance way. This is what you can do to have the life you want.

I see struggle as I have hit the edge of my comfort zone to moving forward to more fun, empowering myself and others, better outcomes as I move through the zone feels exciting and scary it is all the same feelings, depending on your thoughts, your dream of what you real wanted that you dreamed and created future.

I have heard from my mentors speak about how you are going to get there and how you will feel along the road, the lovely new people you will met. The people and the experience of traveling down the road that is enjoyable, the true friends that are on their path, encourage and inspire each other and how humble and generous in helping each other get there.

What would it be like for you to be on your path having clarity, confident and a empowering life with humble, empowering and generous people around you, your gifts and dream being fulfilled, how wonderful this would be to feel better about everything?

How long do you stay before stepping forward?

Love to hear from you?

Leave a comment below and go to facebook, click on the "Like" and share what they will do to inspire or encourage others today.

See you soon

Where do we learn to be careful around others, often our experiences tell us, what not to do again? When feelings get hurt and the words are upsetting, the next thought ends up going into negative victim mindset.

 Over the last few months I have noticed talking with clients, they find it difficult when their own family know them by what has happened throughout your life experiences particularly the negative ones.

The mistakes that were made, the stress at that time was intolerable and you feel like a victim, stuck in all those feelings, so uncomfortable, how to make the choices that are right for you.

Others will make that choice for you, does not mean they are making best choice for you, this just one choice. Always look into the future to the outcome could look like, this is where you learn in life and sometimes make small change by the choices and being responsible as you go.

There are always variables and unknown issues, I called "left field", they comes from different directions and these  experiences you look at as you go down the road of life, you can change them.

Being responsible for yourself is freedom clarity in your mind and a happy and relaxed behaviour. This is when others will hear and see you in a new way,this lets you know they finally understand you, because you understand yourself.

When each person can speak freely with compassion this is when you can listen without judgement that you can see a different point of view is easy, comfortable and open to clear communications. It works both ways!!

Others get angry at that person for hurting their feelings and lash out, this is being a victim of what others say. You can only be responsible for your communication.

Have you noticed when you get triggered by what someone says you feel upset and angry make the other person wrong. Each person has their own learning as each is very individual person and experiences this is how you learn and be open to enjoying life and the interesting people you are with.

There may be something you don’t like what I write about, you may delete my email and never return to this website.You may think Ok, I will look at that could that make a different for me where life does not work very well or be better and you will try that idea on.

I could easily not write another word in case I upset someone. I did have to get over that myself what if don't write well or miss spell a word. Now I enjoy write my blog and I be responsible with compassion. It is nice to share.

You may not have children of that age and it is not important to you. But as an adult, what I write may help you with you Dad, in your work life or with your sister that you don’t get along with anymore and how could you bring a loving relationships back into your family.

When you are responsible for everything that happens to you, ideas will come to you that will help you, it will be your own thoughts and your words and with being responsible you know all those feeling, a yearning to make a different in your own way.

Where can you see, you can make a different in your life with others and bring family leadership in 2012 to your family?

The Empowering your family is wanting you to come and join  us, start sharing on facebook. What are you needing to change in yourself. What do you need to give about another person? This is a new experience for me and I would enjoy your comments…..

See you soon